Happy Birthday Megan
by schillingklaus
Summary: Drake and Josh are in charge with the house when Megan celebrates her birthday party with her friends: bottle spinning.


* * *

**Birthday Party**

* * *

Walter and Audrey were on a cruise to Jamaica.

Drake and Josh were thus left alone in charge withthe house. This was not as easy as it may sound, as it was the time of Megan's birthday party.

Megan had invited a bunch of friends. "And yopu boobs are going to stay out of my way!" She ordered Drake and Josh. "Unless you want certain things to happen!"

"What things?" Josh asked naïvely.

"Terrible things!" Megan affirmed, her eyes penetrating Josh's mind like flaming spears.

Drake and Josh shrugged helplessly. They had promised Audrey and Walter to keep good care of the house and Megan, and to be especially attentive during the birthday party, but they were nowhere near inclined to put up with a bunch of middle school kids whom they could not stand. "We're going to fetch the snacks and smoothies for your party."

Thinking the boys gone, Megan flipped her cellular phone open and pushed the buttons. "Hi, Janie! ... yeppers, the boobs are clueless, as usual ... we're going to play truth or dare. See you!"

* * *

Josh had forgotten his car keys in his other jacket, whence he had to return into the corridor of the mansion. And there he heard it: Megan talking about truth and dare. He snuck out the house.

* * *

"Truth and dare? What's that?" Drake asked annoyed.

"A party game where the participants spin a bottle." Josh explained. "To whomever the opening points, he may choose between answering an embarassing question, or being dared into doing something emabarasing."

* * *

"Such as?" Drake wondered.

* * *

"Kissing?" Josh imagined, twitching like an eel.

Drake choked hard. "Not again. Wasn't that bastard Corey bad enough?"

Josh shrugged. "He reminded me so much of you when you were 14 ..."

Drake stared oddly at Josh. "Anyways, we have to do something against that ... what if kissing isn't enough ..."

Josh choked and twitched again. "You're right, brother!"

* * *

"OK, Megan, there are the potato chips, the cheese puffs, the smoothies, ..." Drake counted the things, as Megan had indicated precise quantities.

"OK, I'm going to arrange the snacks in the party room ..." Megan announced.

Drake shook his head. "We are going to do that, Josh and I."

Josh nodded solemnly.

Megan shrugged. "OK, boobs, if you want to waste your time ..."

Josh and Drake whistled innocently.

"And afterwards we're going straight to Premiere Theater." Drake announced. "So you won't get bothered."

"But the theater is clos ..." Josh wanted to say why Helen had to shut it down for the afternoon, but before he could do that, he felt Drake's fingers between his tongue and his teeth. He coughed.

Of course Drake and Josh wanted to hide behind the couch in the party room while Megan thought them gone.

* * *

The guests came in, one by one. Janie was of course the first to arrive, she was Megan's best friend forever, after all. Then many others made their way to the party: Robby Carmichael, the boy who owned the treehouse next door. Monica, the girl that Corey had dated during the same time as he had dated Megan. Tyler, the toxic gnome who had helped Megan prank the boobs when they had gotten the whole apartment sacked and robbed. Denise, the girl she had been calling on the phone while the boys were in prison for selling stolen barbecue sets. Neil, the younget member of Drake's band. Katie, the girl that once had hated Megan when Josh was a student teacher for science at their school. Ashley Blake, the little diva that had tortured Drake and Josh almost to death. Wendy, the girl from Megan's scout group who had an insane, obsessive crush on Drake. Addie, the girl who had helped Megan torturing Josh while he was sleeping. Robby had even brought along his boarding school roomie Dustin.

* * *

"Let's get the party started!" Megan boomed. "I guess you all know the rules of truth and dare?"

The guests nodded.

Megan span the first bottle, pointing to Katie. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Katie answered.

Megan nodded. "OK ... sing _Jimmy Crack Corn_, but through your nose while sipping your smoothie!"

Katie coughed and choked, but there was no way out. "Jimmy Crack corn, and I don't care ..." She sneezed and shed tears.

* * *

Drake and Josh had been bored. The only interesting thing had been when Megan had chosen truth, and she had to fess up some of her worst pranks on Drake and Josh. The boys still remembered the pains and were close to screaming, blowing their`100 cover, yet they could shut up each other before getting noticed.

* * *

"My peanut puff slipped away, now it's behind the couch ..." Robby sobbed.

Dustin was often annoyed by his roomie's attitude. "I'll get it for you!"

Robby sighed with relief.

Dustin, the smallest of the gang crept beghind the couch and ... "Aaaaaaaaargh ... Look what I've found!". He pulled at something which turned out as Drake's sleeve.

Drake had Robby's peanut puff stuck between his teeth.

"Drake?" Megan thundered with dismay. She looked closer discovering ... "Josh! What are you dummy boobs doing here?"

Josh twitched like a dead fish.

Drake tried to come up with a few poor excuses and white lies while Megan's eyes sent some flashes towards Drake's poor soul. "It's for the better of yourself, believe me ..."

Megan shook her head. "Thanks, Dustin. You're really brave for such a small guy!"

Dustin beamed.

Drake pulled the puff from between his teeth and flang it at Robby. "There you are."

Robby screamed like a fury.

Megan shook her head. "Boob! Do you want to wake up under water?"

Josh trembled with dismay.

"OK, now that you're here, you have to take part in the game. You've bit it, you've bought it!" Megan commanded Drake and Josh.

Drake tried to sneek away, but he was caught in a fishnet.

Making him plummert to the floor, Megan let Drake out of the net. "But if you try to flee again ..."

Now it was Wendy's turn to spin the bottle, and ... whoop ... "Drake!"

Drake shivered and trembled like a willow in the storm.

Josh shrugged. "Take dare!"

"Dare!" Drake replied, unaware of what was going to happen.

"OK,..." Wendy grinned. "Kiss me!"

Drake tried to escape, but he remembered Megan's traps. He stood still in consternation. He was particularly mad at Josh.

Wendy approached Drake, exposing her face in front of his lips. "Now kiss me, you jerk!"

Drake trembled. He closed his eyes, suppressed the urge to throw up, and pecked Wendy with his lips on the top of her head.

"OK, boob!" Megan commented. "Has it been that hard?"

The guests laughed vigorously.

Wendy beamed proudly.

Now it was Drake's time to spin the bottle. The bottle pointed towards Dustin. "Hey gnome ... truth or dare?" Drake had never seen that dwarf before he dragged him from behind the couch.

"Truth!" Dustin replied.

Drake scratched his head. Being afraid of all the middle school boys being out for seducing Megan, he asked: "Do you love Megan?"

Dustin replied shamelessly: "Yes, I do!"

Megan had never seen Dustin before. "What? I swear that ..."

Drake wanted to hear the details. "Since when do you ..."

Dustin explained. "Since Scooter ..." That was how he nicknamed Robby ... "er Robby Carmichael has told me about her: her smartness, her trickiness, her guile, her courage, her cheekiness ..." Dustin swooned recklessly. "Sorry, Megan, but that jerk asked me."

Megan nodded. "Yeah, that's the game ..." Yet she was totally surprised. She had to digest this declaration.

Josh tried to help Megan getting done with her shock, but he was pushed aside by the prankster. He shrugged helplessly.

Dustin felt bad for embarassing Megan. Yet he tortured himself into spinning the bottle. "Addie!" he asked the girl: "Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Addie replied.

"Kiss Josh!" Dusti wanted to get it done, thus he couldn';t think of anything better.

"What?" Addie was consternated. "I and that dork?" But it was for no avail, she had picked dare, and ...

Josh was even more consternated. He remembered when Megan and Addie had layered his face with sliced sausage, and, on top of all, a kitten - he was allergic to kittens!

Addie approached Josh with disgust.

Josh twitched ecstatically.

"Now let's get it done ..." Addie growled. "It wasn't my idea ... so where would you like to get kissed?"

"On my forehead!" Josh decided, thinking of it as a minor evil.

"OK ..." Addie brushed Josh's forehead slightlyt with her lips.

Josh sighed with relief. It wasn't that bad, after all the unnecessary trembling. "You're a nice girl, Addie, after all!" Josh remarked. "I don't quite understand how you may hang out with a she-devil like my step sister."

"I've heard that, boob!" Megan gazed Josh in a toxic manner, indicating that his remark was going to lead to some harsh consequences.

Addie shrugged. "She's a friend, after all." She shook Josh's hand. "You're a nice guy, too!"

Josh smiled kindly.

Now it was Addie's task to spin the bottle. "Oh ... whom do we have ... Neil! Truth or dare?"

"Truth!" Neil replied.

"OK, so you're a drummer ... if you could, whose head would you like to use as a drum for your new drumsticks?"

"Josh's!" Neil replied briefly, making the bigheaded boob twitch with agony. "Big hollow spheres make a great sound!"

Drake laughed his butt off.

Josh was insulted and threatened to strangulate Drake for his laughter.

Neil span the bottle. "Janie! Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Janie grinned.

"OK ... I dare you to bring me a bag of potato chips!" Neil commanded her.

"Lazy bum!" Janie remarked. Then she stood up and fetched Neil what he wanted. She sat down again in order to spin the next bottle. "OK ... oh, Megan! Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Megan boomed.

Janie nodded. "OK ... I dare you to hug both Drake and Josh, and to tell them how much you love them."

"What?" Megan felt like having been backstabbed by Janie who was now giving the dagger stuck in her wound some vicious twist. "Egad! Boob germs!" She tried to find a way to get away from that disgusting task. "Drake and Josh haven't been invited to the party, and thus ..."

"Megan!" Janie glared enigmatically. "Do I have to remember your own trules unto you? You've bit it, you've bought it!"

Megan sighed bitterly. There was no use protesting.

"Who saved you from that hypocritic Don Juan Corey?" Janie reminded Megan.

Monica nodded with agreement.

"Who bought all the snacks and drinks for your party?" Janie continued. "Who brought you breakfast and dinner when you were down with chick pox, last month?"

Dustin sighed. "See, my elder sister is terribly overprotective. She doesn't let me drink coffee after dinner, or eat articial candy. But I've often missed her because she's there for me whenever I'm really down in the crapper.

Megan closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She stepped up to Drake and threw her arms around him. "I love you ... boob!"

This time, the term _boob_ sounded rather affectionate, thus Janie accepted it.

Drake threw one arm around Megan and patted her softly on the back. "I love you, too!"

Megan sighed. Half of her task was fulfilled. She went over to Josh. He was a big bigger, thus she waited for him to pull her closer. "I love you, boob!"

Tears ran down Josh's temples and cheeks. "I love you too, Megs!"

Janie nodded solemnly. "And who has prepared a wonderful birthday serenade for Megan?

Megan didn't know about it, and she wondered how Janie had known.

Drake picked his guitar.

Josh sat next to him.

Then both of them performed a birthday song by Drake for Megan.

"Aw boobs!" Megan sighed. "That wasn't really necessary!" She wiped a tear from her eyes.

Yet, the thing with Dustin was still pending. It had been a surprise for about everyone, especially for Megan. "OK, Dustin, maybe I like you too ... we just need to get to know us a bit better."

"You live at that boarding school near Malibu Beach, right?" Drake asked.

Dustin nodded.

"OK ... we'll take Megan to you next Saturday, then you may get to know each other closer, under mine and Josh's auspieces.

"OK!" Dustin said.

Drake and Josh sighed with relief.

Megan was a bit at unease. Again under fraternal control? Where was that going to end.

Dustin whispered something into Megan's ears. "Lola, one roomie of my sister, is a hot teenie actress. This will lure Drake away. Quinn, the other roomie, is a gifted scientist. This will keep Josh busy. Thus we'll have all the time for ourselves ..."

Megan beamed. "You're one brother of a b****!"

* * *

The decoy manœvre was going to work out perfectly, and Megan and Dustin were going to have many hours virtually for themselves, talking and having fun. Drake and Josh were rewarded with girls that were perfect for them.


End file.
